Happy Anniversary To My Blog… And A Very Special Thank You To YOU!!!

Yes, it’s been one year since I decided to launch this blog and I’ve learned a lot. While on the surface it’s a “cute” idea and I assume “entertaining” for you, my loyal reader, I started it for a very different reason.  After spending my life focused on my career, trusting that my personal life would “work itself out” when the timing was right, I decided that I wanted to stop waiting for it to “work itself out” and really focus on finding love. However, at this stage in life I know myself well, and I knew that all it would take was one bad date and I’d throw in the towel and another year would go by before I dipped my toe in the dating pool again. So, I had to turn the mirror on myself and ask what I would say to someone in my position, “What would motivate you to commit to finding love, and not give up when it got uncomfortable?”

My answer was accountability.  I knew how motivated I get from being held accountable, but how could I get that accountability? If I told a few girlfriends I was going to focus on dating they would have been encouraging and as soon as I had a bad date or two, they would have jumped on my bandwagon and said, “Dating stinks! I’m with you, let’s just go to a movie.”

But what if I told the world? What if I put it out there that I was going to focus on dating? That made me very nervous so I knew I was on to something. I had to give myself a number to shoot for so I was forced to really give dating a chance, and tying my blog into the movie theme, 50 First Dates gave me a serious stretch to reach for.  It was also a bit misleading to some guys who said, “I want to be date number 50.”  You see, I never wanted to hit 50.  I’d be thrilled if my next first date was my last.  I wasn’t tied to the number because “the blog” said 50. It was just a number so I wouldn’t give up.  And I haven’t. So, here’s where I am after one year:

1.  I have been on 10 first dates. That’s more than I’ve been on in all the years combined before it, so it’s progress.  Sure, I could have gone on all 50 with people I wasn’t really interested in for the sake of having dates to blog about, but not only would that have been unfair to the men, IT’S NOT THE PURPOSE OF THIS…. I really want to find love!

2. Out of the 10, I did have one relationship with Bohdi which lasted 3 months. We still text occasionally and I imagine I’ll be seeing him quite a bit during football season, but we just weren’t compatible for the long term.

3. I had my 3rd date with Happy Gilmore, and I have to end it. He does not see it coming, which I feel badly about.  But after 2 1/2 hours of conversation, it became clear to me that we have very different core values.  Not only that, but I felt nothing when we kissed goodnight.  One girlfriend told me that she felt the same way about her now husband and as they got to know each other the fireworks came. Then I spoke to another woman who laughed at me and said, “If you’re kissing a guy and the thoughts going through your head are ‘Where are the fireworks?’ ‘Wait was that a blue one? No. Did I just see a red one? No.’ Then this guy is not the one.” I have to agree with the later.  But not because of the fireworks, because I feel that the lack of connection on a deeper level is what’s causing the lack of fireworks.

4. My date with Joe went very well.  I know some of you were very excited about him.  I texted him soon after he left to have a safe drive home (as the storm was a bad one and he had over an hour to drive) and I said that we’d catch Big Black next time. He texted me back immediately, “Definitely!  Still driving.”  I certainly understood that he didn’t want to text while driving, in fact I hadn’t expected to hear back from him until he was home safe and sound. The thing is… I never heard from him again.  Now many girls, would spend hours talking with their girlfriends, rethinking every move on the date, trying to figure out what went wrong. But I am not many girls.  I was myself which either works for him or doesn’t, but my mind went straight to… “Oh Lord, please don’t let this turn into a “Love Affair” date.” For those of you who didn’t see the movie, two people are supposed to meet 3 months after an affair to see if the feelings are still there. One shows up the other doesn’t. Turns out the one who doesn’t was… well let me not ruin it for you. Let’s just all say a prayer that Joe didn’t feel we were compatible and that he made it ALL the way home in the storm. Let’s hope that wasn’t the last text he ever sent.

5. James Bond is doing GREAT! He met someone, fell in love, and it turns out they are from the same hometown. His pizza place is doing great and if you’re ever in Boca, you must try the best pizza in town…. Manhattan Joe’s.

Overall, it’s been great getting out of my comfort zone, and I have you to thank for keeping me on track. I slipped there for a moment going back to my old way, but when I get messages from you saying “How’s the dating going?” it reminds me to focus on my priority which is finding love!

So happy anniversary to all of us on this journey! Thank you for being a part of it, for sharing it with your friends, and for commenting when I’m trying to figure this all out.

Wishing you all love and a happily ever after!