DATE 3: KINGPIN; LEARNING TO BOWL WITH ROY MUNSON

I know… it’s been a while, but getting dates is NOT easy!! I’m not complaining.. simply filling you in on my absence.

I was asked out on a bowling date.  Now I am invited to bowl once every three years and therefore have never scored over a 50, but it didn’t stop me from saying yes. After all, this is about what the guy I’m going out with thinks is fun. It has been determined that I can have fun in a paper bag, so off I went.

This was a completely blind date. We didn’t speak on the phone, had never met before, and knew no one in common. All I had was his picture and his date idea. The good news is, I recognized him from his picture. He kind of looked like Bon Jovi with really short hair… which is not a bad thing (I know a few of my sorority sisters are squealing at this). The other good news is that he had both of his hands.. that’s a Kingpin joke.

We greeted each other and he got me my shoes. He helped me pick out my ball and insisted on “ladies first”. I warned him that I was a terrible bowler and it was not beneath me to start cheating should my score be too low.

First ball… right down the gutter! Fantastic! But Roy came up behind me (yes like that..) and showed me how to adjust my wrist and which arrows on the lane to aim for, and what do you know??? I got a strike on my next try! I warned him it was a fluke.

Then he went and didn’t do so well. Then I went and hit some pins. Then he went and suddenly it was clear that I was beating him and I could tell that was making him tense. So I threw two gutter balls. What can I say? There was no way I was going to beat this guy at his own game.  On his next time up he got his grove back and pulled out ahead. Somehow, with his coaching, I managed to break 100! I was so excited I did a happy dance.

We bowled another game and I broke 100 again.   It was time to sit down and talk little… and a “little” is all it turned out to be.  The conversation did not flow freely.  I don’t know why.. maybe it was because I brought up TV shows and he said he didn’t like TV except for the serial killer shows.. gulp. At that moment I made a conscious decision not to drink the water he brought me over in a Dixie cup. The conversation grew more and more awkward. I’m not quite sure why, but I suggested that we bowl another game.

We did, and I unintentionally beat him. It was his fault really. I got a strike in the last box and thought that it made it his turn so not realizing, he went up and hit 9 pins. When he looked up and saw it was in my square he offered to reset the score and I told him no because I wouldn’t be able to bowl a 9 (as I demonstrated by throwing a gutter ball next). That 9 after my strike made my score 5 points over his, but I insisted I never would have won without his 9.

He went to the bathroom and I changed back into my shoes. Then it got awkward because I suggested we talk some more, I mean I hadn’t gotten to know anything about him except  that Criminal Minds, Dexter, and The Mentalist are probably on his DVR.. he didn’t seem enthusiastic about talking. Now I would have taken this to mean that he wasn’t interested in me which would have been fine, except for the fact that every time I got a spare he would hug me and every time I got a strike I would get a hug and a kiss on the head… hmm. Kinda weird for a first date, but I suppose it wouldn’t have been if he were the right person. When he walked me to my car I kept thinking WWMWD (what would Michael Westen do? google Burn Notice if you don’t know who that is..).

He moved in for a hug goodbye and then… ladies and gentlemen.. he made the quick head move to kiss me on the lips… stolen kiss!! I quickly pulled away and said “Gee,” (yes, I actually used the word gee) “You’re very affectionate!” To which he replied, “I am?” and that was pretty much the date.

Perhaps I need some dating advice.. feel free to leave some in the comment section.