DATE 4 COUPLES RETREAT; YOGA ON THE BEACH WITH SALVADORE

You know that moment when you’re driving to meet a first date for yoga on the beach.. under the HOT, blistering sun, and you put your left arm up to rest on your driver’s side window only to remember, “Dang it! I forgot to put on deodorant.”  And date four is off to a great start…

Salvadore, is a certified yoga instructor and thought it would be romantic to do yoga on the beach.  (Note to readers: I find guys who are into yoga very sexy.)

He suggested I drive to his house which is across the street from the beach and we would walk.  I agreed.  What I did not expect was for Salvadore to meet me at his guest spot, and then ask me to come inside his house because he had to get his stuff together.  (Note to readers: being invited into a strange man’s house within 30 seconds of meeting him- NOT sexy!)

Reluctantly, I followed him in, keeping a two arms length drag behind him. I quickly walked over to the large dining room table because as a child I was great at winning the “chase around the table game.”  He got his towel and two beach chairs, and then as he made small talk, my childhood skills kicked in.  He would walk toward me and I’d nonchalantly walk in the other direction. Then he’d walk the other way around the table to grab a back pack and I’d walk the opposite way. I felt like the black and white cat trying to escape Pepe Le Pew. Don’t get me wrong, he was not creepy. The fact that all the books he had around were Agatha Christie and various murder mysteries, was a little creepy… but I digress.

So far, Salvadore was nothing more than a polite gentleman asking good “get to know you” questions, while packing a little picnic for us.  I was impressed that he planned for my gluten free eating needs. He grabbed a few activity toys to play with, and we were on our way.

He set up our beach chairs and then we headed up to where the sand was fairly firm and laid out our towels for yoga.  It was a beautiful setting, though I was working more on balance than my poses because my feet kept sinking into the sand.  At first, Salvadore was simply calling out sun salutations, but after about 5 minutes, he was off of his towel and adjusting me. “Encouragement.” (If you haven’t seen Couples Retreat you must google the yoga scene video). Before I knew it, I was in pigeon and Savadore was on top of me pressing on my thighs and shoulders. “Boom… boom.” (Again, you must see that movie scene). Now, I’ll admit, it was quite presumptuous on his part to be all over me like that on a first date for a half hour or so… but who’s counting.  To be honest, my favorite part of yoga classes is when the teachers are touching me. Male, female… I don’t care. It feels great! So, I let Salvadore do his thing. “Boom.. boom.. encouragement!” It only got weird when he was bringing the yoga session to a close and had me go into Shavasana (for non-yogis, you are lying on your back in “corpse pose” with your eyes closed). I had completely relaxed and was enjoying the sensation of the warmth of the sun, when out of no where, he planted a wet kiss on my forehead.

I don’t know, it didn’t kill it for me. It was kind of sweet, but on the other hand, a blindsiding kiss is not the greatest move on a first date. But I recovered and the date went on.

Know what’s hard to recover from? Getting hit in the eye by a high speed Waboba. I get it. His teenage daughter won’t play with him at the beach (did I mention he’s about a decade older than me?), but I’m still a girl.  While he may have a MLB pitcher fantasy going on in his head, I am not Jorge Posada, and he was throwing fastballs! He couldn’t help but express his excitement about finally having someone to throw the Waboba with in the ocean, but frankly, I didn’t get what all the hype was about. From the moment he busted out the thing (which I thought was an updated version of a hacky sack), he continued to share his disbelief that I’d never heard of nor seen one. Call me crazy, but if I’m going to get excited about playing a game with a guy at the beach, it’s going to involve a football, volleyball, or maybe even a frisbee. Trying to see how many times you can make a Waboba “skip” on the water… ehh. I went along with it because he was truly having a blast, until he whipped the thing into my face. I was just glad to have an excuse to end the game of not-really-catch.

He made up for the ball blunder by pulling out not water, but coconut water… fancy schmancy!  So, no Dirty Virgin drinks were consumed on this date, but coconut water was in abundance. Unfortunately, for him, his daughter interrupted our about-to-be picnic, because she needed to be picked up from the mall earlier than he’d expected.  We walked back to his place and he went inside.  I waited outside. He invited me in.  I declined.  He reached in for a goodbye… I-don’t-know-what, because I quickly maneuvered it into a hug and was off.

We texted for a few days after the date. I was still on the fence. He felt too old for me, and by “felt too old” I mean, I really couldn’t imagine kissing him.

And there you have it… bring on Date 5!