DATE 15 URBAN COWBOY: LASSOED IN BY BUD

I’ve been holding out on you… but in my defense, I didn’t know if Bud qualified as date #15. I didn’t know if we were dating. But, 3 months later, he wants to know why he isn’t #15. More on that conversation as future blogs fill you in on the details of the last 3 months. Today’s entry is dedicated to our first non-date that turned into a date: “Date” being defined as 2 people who spend time with each other to get to know each other better.” I have to clarify that for future entries.

As a professional speaker, I have organizations that I speak to on a regular basis. One of those organizations I speak at once a year… that’s the rule. My year was coming up, so I sent an email to my contact there, and he replied with, “It must have gotten lost in the “craziness” of your schedule but I closed the physical building, and have taken the training online. It would, however, be terrific to perhaps have a coffee and a chat when you’re in town…if you’re up for it.” There was a bit more to the email, about the webinars he was doing and the education factor. I agreed to coffee, but I have to admit, I was not really excited about the thought of conversation about webinars I could do for him or repurposing my newsletters, but he’d been supportive of me through the years, so I could at least meet him for coffee and see how I could now give back and support him.

Buuuuuuut…. That didn’t happen. I got so busy on my trip that I kept pushing the coffee meeting and pushing it, until I finally told him that if wasn’t going to work out this trip but that I’d be back in July and promised to make him a priority.

July 1^st I received an email from him, “Hey Jessica…Now that we’re in July, lemme know if/when, you’ll be in LA.” July 1^st! No wonder he was a good business man, clearly he’s more type A than I am, and very on top of things.

I respected his tenacity, so I offered to kick off my trip with him. I’d be in town for three weeks, but I didn’t want him getting pushed off again, so I suggested coffee the morning I arrived.

When I arrived at the CB&TL, (Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf) I was concerned I wouldn’t recognize him. I’d only seen him for about 90 seconds once a year when he’d come out of his office to give me a hug and thank me for coming and then disappear just as quickly. But, I did… recognize him, and even if I hadn’t, he approached me before I realized he was there and gave me a big hug.

Moments later we were on line to order, when he started singing Tim McGraw’s, Live Like You Were Dying. I laughed and said that he must have read my newsletter the day before. He replied that he didn’t get my newsletter, but was curious why I said that. “I saw Tim McGraw last Friday night, and then put that video in my newsletter as part of my topic.” He nodded, now understanding but said, “No, I’m just from Nashville, so I was singing a song.” (insert sound FX of needle scratching to a stop on a record player) Nashville? This guy just got a whole lot more interesting… handsome and country, we’d better start talking business soon…

The minute we sat down it was anything but business. His first question to me was, “This is going to be hypocritical, but I have to ask, you’re beautiful, smart (or was it smart, beautiful? Doesn’t matter)… never been married? Never had kids? Can I ask why?” I particularly dislike this question, as there is an unspoken assumption that there must be something wrong with me, but because he led with “This is going to be hypocritical” I was willing to address it. I told him that I’d been in 3 long-term relationships, one with whom I’d lived with for 7 years which is longer than most Los Angeles marriages last, and that I never wanted kids, though I love being my friends’ kids’ “favorite aunt.” He gave me a half smile, and said that he figured it was that, as he himself never wanted kids and had some long-term relationships, one in particular that he was just coming out of presently and therefore, he is asked the same question often and dislikes it as much as I do.

I had an hour and a half before my hair appointment, and the more he talked, the sexier he became, I mean to the point of “START TALKING ABOUT GREENLIGHT, DUDE BECAUSE I’M HAVING NON-WORK THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU CURRENTLY!!!” But, the conversation about Greenlight never came up. He had me laughing, intrigued, and growing very attracted to him with each passing second. So, when he offered to walk me to my car because he knew I had to get to my appointment, I was totally confused. He hadn’t brought up business. As I got up, he gave me a quick kiss, and I was even more confused. Was he this “friendly” to all of his guest speakers?

The answer to the question on your mind right now is “YES… I am that clueless.” So, he walked me to my car and said that he knew the next three weeks were going to be busy for me, but he hoped that he could see me again at least once. Okay, that makes sense, we hadn’t gotten to business because I had to cut our time short with a hair appointment.

I remembered that one of my Greenlighters was a country singer and was performing. I had wanted to go see him, but not by myself, so I blurted out, “There’s a country band I wanted to see Friday night, if you’re not busy.”

“Friday, as in tomorrow?” he asked. I did the calculating in my head as I’d just flown in from Minnesota and I had no idea what time zone I was in let alone what day it was. When I realized that Friday was indeed ‘tomorrow’, I blushed and completely frazzled said, “Oh, that’s right tomorrow- that’s too soon- oh wait, this isn’t a date- I’m totally misreading this- I’ll shut up now.”

He smiled at me, and said, “You are not misreading this, it was just unexpected, and I’m just getting out of this long relationship, so to be respectful to her and to you, and to be in integrity with myself, I will let you know about tomorrow, just know that at this time, we can’t be physical.” To which I replied, “Forget it then.” And we laughed as he gave me another quick kiss, tucked me into my car, and off I went, wondering “What the heck just happened?” Soon after, I received a text saying he would like to see the country band with me.

That is his introduction, you’ll find out why it was an Urban Cowboy date in the next entry…